Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Thoughts on Stay-at-home-Mothering vs Daycare

The debate between stay-at-home-mothering vs daycare can sometimes get ugly but these thoughts have been rolling around in my head for some time now ... so here goes.

"I do not believe that all woman should stay home and have babies, but I am firmly convinced that all mothers should stay home and raise their children."

Now before I continue (or find some folks up in arms about the impracticality of my statement) let me also say this: I realize there are always exceptions to every rule. Some circumstances which would affect a mom's stay-at-home option might include: divorce, single parenting issues, mental and/or physical illness, finances, etc...But for lack of a set of circumstances beyond a mom's control, I do believe a mother's place is with her children. And if not possible at any one given moment in time, that should be the ultimate goal. And not just for the children, mind you, FOR THE MOTHER as well!

Mothering is a wonderful experience and I know I am certainly a better person for having dedicated my time and energy to full time parenting. Not only did my kids always know (as Doctor Phil says ;-) that their home was "a safe place to fall" - but as their mother in this process, I reaped the benefits (then and now) of a uniquely close and enduring relationship with my sons.

BTW, in a libertarian world, with no income tax, it would be much more do-able financially for moms to stay-at-home. :-)

Just a thought ... and as always, comments are appreciated.



marisasim said...

I am in complete agreement with your statement. I have been a SAHM for the past 7 years. When my husband and I got together, we always knew that one of us would stay home with the children, and the deal was that whoever had the better income would continue to work. I'm so glad that it turned out to be me who stayed home! It has been the best experience!

I am curious what you think in regards to when/if mothers should return to full-time work. Most SAHMs that I know plan to return to work when their kids begin full-time schooling. Do you think it is ideal for moms to stay home longer? How long? Just curious what your thoughts are.

Angela said...

I've been a a SAHM for about 10 years now, and I think that some women just aren't cut out for staying home. I'm comfortable supporting whatever choices other women make for their families.

As far as when to return to work....now that my oldest is in Junior High, I think I can say that is ideal to stay home until your child is in college. :)

Julie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julie said...

Sorry about the delete, forgot to spell check first!

Excellent post! I found your blog through the Mothering Institute, which I found through your group on Cafe Mom. I too dream of the Libertarian world (and the no income tax that comes with it!) It would be much easier to stay home if we had that extra money in each pay check!

Julie P (crunchyjulie on Cafe Mom)

Debbie Out Loud said...

I had this big ol' comment typed out and tried to post it here and blogger lost it for me. =o( Oh well, suffice to say I appreciate this entry and couldn't agree more. I have loved being home with my girls so much, and homeschooling them as well. It's a daily pleasure to interact with them, to see them process knowledge and apply it, to watch their personalities develop, to share with them the things I find important in life, to know that they'll come to me with their hugs and their questions and their cares. There is really nothing more rewarding.

Debbie (deb_thang from the LM forum)

Mom1 said...

Many stay-at-homes moms I know have become homeschooling moms as well and as such end up staying home throughout their children's growing up years. To me this is ideal.

If a mother does choose to return to the workforce after her children are in school (government/public or private) I would suggest her hours allow that she be home when her children are -both before and after school.

Offering your child a sense of security by being there to send them on their way and being there to greet them when they return home is a lasting and valuable gift.